Stupid Pride
by TheLivingAngel
Summary: Linn & James have annoyed the crap out of each other for years. But who knew that during their 7th year at Hogwarts would change everything between them. WARNING: Strong language and mild violence.
1. Graduation Day

I never imagined my Hogwarts graduation day would be like this. I always imagined it with hundreds of smiling faces, confetti, and lots and lots of balloons. With an excess of Butterbeer and cupcakes. All the magical creatures of Hogwarts would attend and Hagrid would convince the unicorns to wear big, hot pink bows around their necks. I figured that it would be insanely boring and that the headmistress' speech would bring tears to out mothers' eyes; but it would be worth it. I figured that after seven years of pouring my blood, sweat and tears into my education it would definitely be worth it.

But just like my other childhood visions of sugarplums and prince charmings and true love, my dream of the perfect graduation was shattered into a million tiny pieces.

On the day of my real Hogwarts graduation it poured; thunder boomed and lightning crashed in the sky as we all huddled underneath the magically enhanced tent that sheltered us from the violent wind and the pouring rain. It was fitting weather when I think about how the rest of the day turned out. After the ceremony we retreated back to the castle and, after a half hour of tearful hugs and kisses, our parents bid us a farewell (until the next afternoon when we would all be picked up from the station) and flooed home. We were left to enjoy our last night at Hogwarts.

I remember how cold I was sitting there in the great hall on the Ravenclaw table bench. My hair was clinging to my scalp underneath my black wizard hats. My robes were sodden and felt like lead. My best friend Riessa Litten was giving her parents a final hug next to me. My parents had flooed off moments before, my mum still crying over the fact that 'her baby was all grown up.' Later I was to be glad my parents had left so quickly after the ceremony, but at that moment I was not to happy; in fact, I was pouting.

Unable to take the crying and laughter anymore, I stormed out of the hall. I left a trail of water behind me on the stone floor as I walked away. I didn't know where I was going. I just followed my feet. One foot in front of the other; one step at a time. Eventually I found myself standing on the Astronomy Tower balcony, my arms open wide to the elements. The downpour kissed my face and the wind caressed my body. Despite the chaotic weather around me I was at peace.

It was finally over. Done. Finished. Complete. No more homework or classes. No more tests or quizzes. No more Riessa waking me up at six a.m.

No more him. I smiled into the rain at the thought. No more him. Never ever again. No more dealing with the way he made me feel. No more listening to Riessa and her damn theories. No more getting detention for fighting with him. _No more him._

I could run away from it all now, move on and create a entirely new Linnys 'Linn' Hyatt. One that was defined by her intellect and cunning. One that was not defined by her 'relationship' with him. One that was…

I could feel the tension in the air grow a ten-fold. It was hard to breathe, despite the wind around me. I felt like I was on fire, even though it was freezing outside. I knew he was behind me, he didn't have to make a sound or say a word. I could feel him. I stared defiantly at the clouds, hoping that if I ignored his presence long enough he would dissolve into a million tiny pieces and go away. Silly me.

"Trying to kill yourself Hyatt?" his voice was as smooth as the marble carved banister around the balcony and sent chills even colder than the wind up and down my spine. I shuddered and turned around to face him. He, too, was still draped in his black robes. Rivers of water spilled off his broad shoulders. I felt my knees go weak as I took in his hazel eyes and soaked black locks. Carefully I met his gaze. My mouth went dry as I watched the raindrops cling to his eyelashes. Merlin, how I hated his eyelashes. They were far too long for any guy to have, let alone him. His tongue darted out to lick the rainwater off his lips, and I felt my eyes narrow.

"Why would you care Potter," I said coldly.

His perfect lips twisted into the smirk I had grown to hate, and later (secretly) adore. He took a few steps towards me and shoved his hands in his trouser pockets. The wind flung the rain about around us, but I didn't feel it. Right here, right now, it was only me and him. I felt his eyes trace my body, and I crossed my arms protectively over my chest as I saw them pause there. I hated the way he made me feel, so vulnerable and weak. I hated feeling weak.

"Well, wouldn't you care if I decided to prance out into a storm like this," he asked still smirking.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, "Highly unlikely."

The smirk fell off his face and he threw his hands up in the air, "Oh come one Linn," he groaned, his eyes now blazing with something I couldn't define.

I just hugged myself tighter, as the raindrops pounding down on, and around, me, "Oh come on Potter, just deliver your final insult so I can yell at you and you can disappear and be finally gone from my life."

His eyes turned cold and he too cross his arms over his chest, "You know what Hyatt, you are an ice cold bitch."

I rolled my eyes, "Tell me something you haven't already Potter. If that's all you have to say, then be gone," I waved him away and turned my back to him again. I heard him mutter a string of curses under his breath as he finally closed the distance between us. Without looking I knew his chest was only centimeters away from my back, "Go away Potter," I hissed through clenched teeth.

"No," he said simply, "Not until I've had my say. You've been nothing but a bitch to me for the past seven years Hyatt! I have every right to tell you exactly…"

"Oh I've been a bitch," I spun on my heel and shoved him away, "What about you Potter? Living with you for seven years hasn't exactly been a walk in the park!"

He narrowed his eyes at me and I felt the cracks in my already broken heart get just a little bigger, "For Fuck's sake Hyatt! Will you ever grow up? We bloody graduated today! Here I was just trying to have a civil conversation with you for once and you can't even do that!"

"Oh yes because asking me if I was going to kill myself is clearly civil!"

"You're so fucking prideful! You can't get rid of your damn pride for five seconds can you?" my ears rung at his words and suddenly the raindrops felt like knives.

"Oh fuck off Potter! I don't need Mr. Egotistical himself lecturing me!"

I could feel tears clouding my eyes and I struggled to keep from sobbing; I gave him the worst glare I could create, "Merlin I hate you!"

James just stood there silently, anger radiating from him as he glared back at me. I tugged my fingers through my hair and looked him straight in the eyes, "I hope you die," I said in a cold, angry tone as I shoved past him and skidded down the stone steps.

By the time I got to the common room and mumbled my answer to the question that was asked of me; hot, angry, tears were pouring down my face. After a steaming shower I climbed into my bed and charmed the hangings shut. I spent my last night at the school I loved ignoring the pleas of Riessa and bawling my eyes out over a stupid, stupid boy.

And that's where I am now. Curled up under my covers, the salt from my tears dried to my cheeks, wishing that tomorrow afternoon would just come. I need to get out of here and move on.

Merlin, how did it end up like this? How did James and I end up this way? Where did we go wrong? As I lay here now I realize that the time for me to find the answers to these questions has passed. And worst of all I know why, James was right. It's because of pride. Not just because of mine, but because of his as well. Because of both of our ego complexes. Because we both refused to be the first to fall and crumble.

Because of all this I now realize that I will take one secret with me to the grave. The secret that in the end I never really hated him. In the end I fell in love with him.


	2. How It Began

Most stories about the thin line between love and hate start off with one individual doing something awful to the other individual. There is the occasional Romeo and Juliet complex and some stories like this begin when the two future lovers first set eyes upon one another. There's the classic boy falls in love with girl and girl hates boy. And every once in a while you get a story about the good girl falling for the bad boy.

But mine and Potter's story isn't any one of these things. It isn't a combination of these things either. It is and was something entirely different all together.

I didn't feel a flood of unfounded hate the first time I saw him. In fact the only thing that registered in my little eleven year old mind was, "Oh he's a Potter." Something that I just found kind of cool. I didn't begin plotting his demise (nor ways to get him to talk to me, unlike some of my roommates) after our first interaction.

He was in Gryffindor and I was in Ravenclaw. There was little animosity between the two houses, and we shared few lessons. It wasn't until our fourth year of Hogwarts that I paid even the slightest amount of attention to him. Fourth year, Gryffindors and Ravenclaws began to share more classes, thus he was around me more.

It was then that I began to feel small prickles of annoyance towards him. He never paid attention during lessons, always had some smart ass comments, and continually interrupted the Professors. I found him incorrigible and quite immature.

At the end of the year I left school and forgot about him. Well as much as one can forget about the eldest son of the famous Potter family. James had been on magazine covers since he was born.

Fifth year was when our 'story' truly began. It seemed to bother James that I didn't care about who he was and didn't even give him a second glance. I think this was partially because he was so used to attention and partially because he craved everyone's undivided interest in him at all times. He never did understand why I, the cynical Ravenclaw, never paid him a moments notice.

It all exploded our fist day of classes that year. He attempted to engage me in conversation during class and I brushed him off.

That one teensie tiny decision of choosing to take notes and not interact with him would haunt me for the rest of my school days.

After that moment James decided that A, I would never forget him, and B, that my life would be exponentially better if he was in it. Riessa claims there was also a third reason: that he had developed a crush on me, or was at least intrigued. But I always have and always will vehemently deny it. I remember telling her she was crazy and insisting that James Potter couldn't possibly like me; why it was as likely as me liking him. And by that time, I hated him.

I hated the way he smirked. I hated the way he said my name. I hated his face. I hated the fact that he insisted on poking me in the back during tests. I hated the way he laughed. I hated the way he sat. I hated the way he talked. I hated the way he ruffled his hair. I hated his easy going manner. I hated the way he just couldn't seem to leave me alone even after I slapped him.

In short, I hated everything about him within the first month of school.

That year we fought daily. He teased, I screamed. He ruffled my hair, and I slapped him.

One day we walked into Transfiguration, he poking me incessantly and me hitting him with my textbook. Professor McGonagall took one look at us, said "Not again, I'm getting to old for this," and gave us detention.

The entire year went on like that.

When I went home that summer I did not forget about him. He was in my thoughts constantly. He haunted my nightmares. I moaned and groaned about him to my mother and sister and anyone else who would listen. I think it was that summer when I began to build the wall around my heart and dug the heels of my pride into the ground.

Even then, when I swore I hated him, I knew deep down inside that it was something else. And I hated it. The hatred I had for the feelings he stirred deep within my heart made me hate him even more.

The next year, our sixth, followed almost the same path the previous one had. He teased and I screamed. He made fun of my hair and I threatened to dissect him with a spoon. He stole my notes to finish his essay and I nearly murdered him. We interacted the same as we always had; with him annoying me and me shouting profanities at him.

But through our fights other emotions and feelings began attempting to make their way to the surface.

To my absolute horror, after Christmas holidays, he smiled at me in the hallway and a flurry of butterflies erupted in my stomach as a blush crept onto my cheeks. I hated myself for it, but I hated him for it even more. I shoved the slowly developing feelings down into my mind and sometimes literally coached myself into hating him more than ever.

But alas, as they say, nothing gold can stay, nor could the blissful state of ignorant, blind 'hate' that we were in.

Our sixth year I learned he was human, that he had some sort of heart. Some days he made me laugh and smile. Every once in a while we would have a 'civil' conversation. But none of it lasted long. Somehow something would always make me blow my temper, something which was constantly ready to explode at a moment's notice. I was so strung out and twisted over my conflicting emotions that everything made me snap. I cried over him many, many times that year. Bawled my eyes out late, late at night when no one could see or hear me. My heart physically hurt from the whirlwind of emotions I was putting it through. I contemplated cutting it out. Anything was better than this dull, fiery pain that made my heart feel bruised and my veins feel as though they were clogged with poison.

That summer he never left my mind for a second. He was constantly there- my own personal mental poltergeist. He was in my nightmares and daydreams. I was sick from him. I would close my eyes and see his staring back at me. To my utter annoyance I looked for him everywhere; I had thought I heard him in everything. Something as simple as a jacket reminded me of him.

And then this year began.

This year has made me laugh. It has made me cry. It has made me smile. I'm probably most likely a mental case from it. St. Mungo's will be accepting me any day now. Perhaps I will get a bed next to Lockhart.

Our seventh year. Our final year.

Which brings me to now. To me curled up in a ball in my bed crying my eyes out. I know this is how I got to here. I know that the path I took lead me to this ending. Even yet I do not understand. A year ago it would not have ended like this. It was a simple crush if anything. Somewhere in between stepping on the train September first and today it became something more; something I didn't think would ever happen, even in my darkest nightmares and most wild dreams. Somewhere in between the fights and the teasing and the tears I fell in love. And now, here at the end, I have finally hit the bottom of the pit. I am in far too deep and have no chance of getting out.

Nothing can save me now. No one can help me get out. I've made my bed and now I must lie in it.

And yet, I must ask myself how did it get to this. How did it turn from a simple teenage crush to love? 'Tis bittersweet that I am trying to decipher this now, here at the end. But I must figure this out.

How did I fall in love with James Potter, the boy I hated more than anything?

I guess it's true when they say there is quite a thin line between love and hate.

I suppose I should start with our first day back. That day on the train…


	3. That Day On The Train

The luggage compartment of the Hogwarts Express was a dimly lit room with no windows. Trunks were stacked in piles against the walls and each other; their black, brown and red hues adding to the gloomy feel of the room. The floor was dark, stained wood and the walls had peeling brown and gold wallpaper pasted on them. The iron ceiling of the compartment topped off the room; its thin metal, magically re-enforced sheet the only barrier between the student's belongings and the elements. In short, the compartment was uncomfortable, gloomy and smelled rather musty.

"Love, you can't hide in here all day."

Linnys Hyatt was perched atop a pile of mismatched trunks, the latest edition of _WitchWeekly_in her hands. She looked up from behind the pages at the sound of her best friend's, Riessa Litten, voice. The dark haired bookworm was standing in front of the compartment door, hands on her hips, giving Linn a look that clearly said 'I know why you're in here and I think it's childish.' It was one hour into their final September First Train Ride and Linn had spent the entire time hiding out in the luggage compartment. Riessa cleared her throat, awaiting Linn's reply but instead Linn just raised an eyebrow and turned the page of her magazine.

"Oh look! The 'Tips from Trixy' section," Linn snickered folding over the magazine, "This month it's entitled, 'Romance Tips: How to Turn that Spark into a Blaze.'"

"Linny…"Roxie said darkly as her friend let out a very unattractive and un-ladylike snort.

"It says here that 'When attempting to engage your interest in a conversation try complimenting his appearance. Is he a workout-a-holic? Compliment his muscle tone and ask him how his latest workout was. It doesn't matter if you don't understand what he's saying, just smile and look engaged. Let him talk while you eye his biceps.' Who writes this rubbish?" Linn asked, shaking her head and she shut the magazine. As she had read, Riessa's eyes had narrowed and she had begun tapping the sole of her patent leather Mary-Jane's against the wooden floor of the compartment.

"Can you attempt to act like a normal individual for once and come with me to find Synna?" Riessa asked.

Linn sighed and shook her light brown hair over her shoulders, so the tangled mess cascaded down her back, "But it's so lovely in here. I was quite enjoying the ambiance. The wall decoration is simply marvelous, and look at the way the trunks are arranged! Simply superb!"

"No, you," Riessa said matter of factly as she pointed a finger at Linn, "like the fact that there is no James in here."

Linn's eyes narrowed and she tossed the magazine at Riessa's head. She managed to bat it down before it smacked her in the face. She picked it up and threw it back at Linn, who was now pouting.

"I am not afraid of James Potter," Linn retorted, dodging the flying magazine of death. Riessa raised one perfectly waxed, dark eyebrow at her.

"I am not!" Linn yelled, her voice raising at least three octaves. She glared at Riessa, who was shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

"Fine then," Linn slid off the trunks and landed on the wooden floor of the compartment with the gracefulness of a newborn calf. After tripping and nearly decapitating herself with an empty owl cage, she brushed off her skirt and with an air of utmost dignity, shoved past Riessa.

"That was easy," Riessa called after her. Linn pretended not to hear as she strutted down the hallway, arms crossed and hips swinging. Riessa allowed the door to slam shut behind them as she attempted to catch up to her friend.

"Would you wait up for me you psycho!" Riessa hollered down the hallway as she jogged to catch up to Linn, "You're insane, you know that?" she said as she finally closed the gap between them and hooked arms with the still pouting Linn. She grunted.

"Have you seen Syn yet?" Riessa asked, Linn grunted in response. Riessa sighed, "So now that we've exited the baggage compartment you've transformed into a caveman?" she teased, scanning the hallway for the short, blonde-haired, final member of their trio.

Linn grunted again in annoyance.

"I left her somewhere down here. She was going to look for an open compartment," Riessa attempted to engage Linn in conversation as they made their way down the walkway. Linn grunted yet again.

"Rie! Linn!" Suddenly the two were attacked. Linn grabbed the wall in order to steady herself as she gave her friend an awkward one armed hug. Synna let go and smiled at her.

"I found a compartment!" she said nodding her head towards the door she had just thrown open. Linn only grunted in response as she followed Riessa and Synna through the door. Riessa rolled her eyes at her friend as she shut the door.

"Linn transformed into a caveman over the summer," she stated sitting down next to Synna. Linn glared at her friends and flopped down on the other side of the compartment, her long legs covering up the rest of the blue velvet seats. Synna squinted at her. Linn was still tall, long legged, light brown haired and scowling. She cocked her head to the side, "She looks like Linn to me."

"I didn't mean physically," Riessa stated, "She apparently now has the vocabulary of one." Linn rolled her eyes at this admission and began picking at a loose edge of the flowered wallpaper pasted next to her.

Linn, Riessa and Synna had been close friends since first year. Synna and Linn had met on the train after Linn had nearly trampled over her. They later met Riessa when she was sorted into Ravenclaw with them. They had two other roommates, Liya Rim and Ryan Dannis. The five girls all had a mutual respect for one another, but the trio, Liya and Ryan had never grown too close. Liya tended to chum around with the seventh year Hufflepuffs and Ryan, a chaser for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, usually chose to hangout with her team mates.

The three were quite the trio. Riessa was the braniac of the group. Slender and pale with dark brown hair (which she usually pulled up in a tight bun), she took care of the group. She was also, academically, the top of her class. Riessa was smart and not just Ravenclaw smart.

Synna was the 'fun' one in the group. Bubbly and outgoing with the attention span of a gnat; both Linn and Riessa liked the kid that had a permanent cheering charm placed on her. Synna was also the loving one who liked to see the good in people. She balanced out the negativity and cynicism of Linn. Her hair was a sandy blonde. Synna liked to keep her hair in a long ponytail.

Then there was Linn. Tall, light brown haired, cynical, and sarcastic, with the mouth that would make a nun cross herself and put a sailor to shame. Unlike Riessa and Synna she was not overly intelligent. Witty? Yes. Intelligent? No. It wasn't that she didn't do well in her classes, Linn had just never seen the point of engaging in the extra studying and free-time reading of the dictionary that the rest of her housemates seemed to peruse. Linn was also stubborn to a fault.

"Linn!" Synna threw a large ball of parchment at her, in an attempt to engage her in conversation. Linn jumped in her seat and turned to face her friends.

"I asked how your summer was you nitwit," Riessa said. Linn rolled her eyes, "Enjoyable. Went to the beach. Painted my bedroom. Nearly killed Taryn and Ander after they fed my last chocolate frog to the neighbor's dog," Linn complained. Taryn and Ander were her younger siblings. They too attended Hogwarts, sadly. Taryn was a fifth year Gryffindor and Ander, a Ravenclaw, was in second.

"Oh how I missed the days when they were left at home and I was free to do whatever the hell I wanted without either of my parents finding out," Linn moaned aloud to the compartment.

"Oh siblings," Synna sighed, a pained look upon her face. Synna had a younger sister as well. A fifth year Gryffindor like Taryn, named Mally. Linn and Synna tended to refer to them as the trouble twins, a name they had bestowed upon them their second year.

Riessa shook her head. She was an only child and as both Synna and Linn liked to say, "she would never truly understand the torture of having a younger sister."

Suddenly Linn groaned and threw her head back, "Dammit."

"What?" Riessa asked cautiously.

"I forgot the fucking magazine. Because someone," Linn looked pointedly at Riessa, "rushed me out of my happy place."

Riessa raised an eyebrow, "The baggage compartment is your happy place?"

"It was quiet; there was no one in there… Don't question me!" Linn dramatically stood up and walked out of the compartment. Synna and Riessa looked at one another. Their hopes that this year, their final year, would be peaceful and un-dramatic had officially been dashed. Then again, it had been foolish to think that, especially when Linn Hyatt was involved.  
>Linn stalked her way down the train corridor ignoring the students around her. A loud, clearly male laugh boomed through the compartment. Linn's eyes widened and her pace quickened. She threw open the baggage compartment door and slammed it shut behind her.<p>

Linn closed her eyes and leaned the back of her head against the door, "You are pathetic," she hissed to herself as she opened her eyes and picked up the discarded magazine on the floor. She rolled it up and slowly creaked open the door. She peeked outside through the tiny crack. Her blueish-grey eyes doubled in size and she slammed the door shut.

She took a few deep breaths, "Okay Linn you can do this. Just ignore him. Don't look at him. Ignore him. Right," Linn opened the door and began hurriedly walking down the corridor, her eyes on the carpet. She clenched the magazine in her hand, her knuckles white.

Linn could feel the tension in the air increase with every step she took forward. It was hard to breathe and she could feel her heart pounding.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid…" she muttered under her breath.

"Hyatt."

Linn froze. Chills shot their way up her spine and her stomach erupted in butterflies. She narrowed her eyes and met his eyes, her chin high.

Well fuck, she mentally hissed. Summer had been good to him, too good. He'd let his dark hair grow out a bit and his skin was tanned. He crossed his arms as he stared at her bemusedly. The muscles in his forearms caught Linn's eye and she flinched. Sweet Merlin. She could only imagine what his uniform was hiding.

"Potter," she said coldly, her blueish-grey eyes meeting his hazel ones. His lips twisted into a smirk as Linn glared. Bloody boy and his stupid cheekbones and eyelashes. Why was her mortal enemy good looking?

"Hello Linny bee."

And there's the asshole I know, Linn thought rolling her eyes.

"What Potter?" Linn hissed.

"Nothing darling. No smile for me? Come on you haven't seen me in 3 months, didn't you miss me?" James cooed stepping towards her.

"Not one bit," Linn crossed her arms defensively as James took a step closer, "Toodles!" Linn called as she made an about face and stormed off. She didn't look back. Instead she concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other.

If she had taken the time to look over her shoulder at the man-child behind her she would have noticed that that he had not moved from his spot in the middle of the hallway. He was still exactly where she left him; biting his lip and staring at Linn as she made her way down the hallway, her hips swaying side to side.

Linn collapsed back in her seat when she returned to the trio's compartment. Riessa raised an eyebrow as her flustered friend hurriedly flipped through the magazine and began staring at it.

"Linny it's upside down."

Linn shakily flipped the magazine. Her face was flushed and she was breathing heavily.

"I take it you saw James," Riessa smiled.

"Yes I did see the asshole. I have no further comment."

Synna grinned, "Then I take it you saw how marvelous summer was to him."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're speaking of Syn."

"Oh come on Linn. The boy is sex on legs. Have you seen…" Synna was interrupted by a shriek from Linn.

"Do not refer to James Potter as… as… _that_ in my presence. In fact don't refer to him as that at all. Potter isn't remotely attractive. A basilisk is more attractive than Potter."

"A basilisk?" Riessa raised an eyebrow.

"You know it's a huge as snake. Slithers around… kills people with its eyes… aren't you the smart one?" Linn stated.

"I know what it is Linn," Riessa said, "Are we really going to have to go through another year of this?"

"Another year of what?"

"Another year of you and Potter and your bloody suffocating sexual tension," Synna said matter of factly, "It's getting idiotic. Can't you just jump him and shag him in a broom cupboard or something."

Linn stared at her friend in horror, "Eww. Never in a million years! I would chew my own arm off. I would eat a thousand acid pops. I would…"

"We get the point. Synna is just pointing out that it would be nice if the two of you could get over yourselves enough in order to realize that you're soul mates."

"Ewww!"

"Yea, stop fighting like an old married couple for five minutes and shag like I said."

"Jistienne Synna Tarret!" Linn yelled throwing the magazine at her friend's head, "Absolutely not! I would never… just no." Linn gagged.

The compartment was silent for a few moments before Synna licked her lips, "Well I guess if you're uncomfortable shagging him in a broom closet you can have the dorm for an hour or two."

"Synna!"

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><p>And that my friends was how our seventh year began.<p> 


	4. Transfiguration in DADA

**A/N: **Sorry I haven't updated for a while but... well I'm gonna be honest - I've just been really lazy. And i kinda forgot about the story. Sorry! But anyways here's a new chapter. Oh and i should have put thid in her before but... oh well better late than never!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the plot, idea, and anything else you don't recognize. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and everything you _do _recognize.

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><p>There is a very thin line between love and hate and by my seventh year of schooling I was teetering very close to the edge. Every single day I walked the tightrope. When my feet faltered or I was about to fall, I would jump back to what I knew was safe- the hate side. It was very easy to hate James. I had extensive practice. Besides, I was a Ravenclaw and we never half-assed anything. And so, to Riessa and Synna's great annoyance, I continued with the lovely façade I had created over the years.<p>

I was the ice-cold bitch of Ravenclaw (You can thank James for the nickname.) The sarcastic, cynical bint who loathed James Potter with a passion. The crazy bird who came up with a new and creative way to kill and/or torture the heir to the Potter fortune her fifth year. I embraced my persona happily, with a cold smirk in place, and clung to it like a security blanket.

Truth be told it was my security blanket. I hate change. I liked things to stay the same. Hence my absolute horror at the idea of James becoming anything more to me than the annoying bastard who I would like to torture sadistically and kill slowly and painfully.

Someone once said that it is easy to fall into hate and very, very hard to get out of it. And this ladies and gentlemen was the idea which defined my seventh year of schooling. Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down inside I knew that I didn't hate James. In fact, even deeper down , I think all along I knew that my feelings for him were completely opposite.

But I digress; back to my point.

By the end of the first week of class I had stopped walking on my lovely little tightrope and dove headfirst into the hate side. In fact, if it had been possible, I think I would have chained myself there, metaphorically speaking of course. Why?

Well for starters, the fact that Potter was disturbingly gorgeous was getting harder and harder to ignore. Then there was the fact that he kept smirking at me constantly. I'm not even exaggerating, it's like the damn thing is painted on his face. And of course we can't forget the fact that he seemed to be using every opportunity he had to annoy me to his advantage. And that my friend is why by the first Friday evening of the school year I was already ready to commit murder.

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><p>"He is such a fucking arrogant prat! I bloody hate him!" Linn threw her book bag onto her bed in a huff as she walked through the doorway of the Ravenclaw dorm. Riessa and Synna followed her, worried looks on their faces.<p>

Riessa shut the door soundly as Linn continued her rant. Fifth explosion this week, she sighed to herself. It was nothing new, nothing exciting; just another heated exchange of hexes and harsh words and smirks and glares. In the past Linn and James had been more creative with their fighting. Lately however, Linn had seemed incredibly flustered when around James and it was affecting her fighting capabilities. Linn was renowned throughout the school for her cynical wit and comebacks, but said ability to retort creatively seemed to of abandoned her. In fact, even her complaining about James lacked the colorful metaphors she generally used to describe the boy.

"Who the bloody hell does he think he is? And who the hell says that to someone? Merlin, I fucking hate him!" Riessa had begun to develop a theory over the course of the past few days about the situation. One she had decided to keep to herself for a few reasons. The most important being she didn't want Linn to murder her in her sleep. In the past, Synna and Riessa had teased Linn about her feelings for James. They had always assumed that she had a bit of a crush on him, something she vehemently denied, and they had enjoyed occasionally teasing her about it. But as of late Roxie had started to notice that June's entire attitude to James had changed. It was almost as if she was a bit scared of him? No, Riessa shook her head, not scared of him… Scared of what she felt for him perhaps? One thing was for sure, Riessa was dead certain that Linn was scared of something pertaining to James and it was affecting her greatly.

"I hate him! I absolutely one hundred percent loathe that stupid, egotistical, arrogant…"

"You already called him arrogant," Synna called from her bed.

"I don't bloody well care! He's so fucking arrogant I can call him arrogant more than once!" Linn was pacing about the dorm waving her arms around. Her hair was beginning to get quite frizzy and she was red in the face. Synna and Riessa sighed in unison as Linn threw her arms up in the air and scowled at the ceiling. "Did you hear what he said to me? Did you?" she shrieked. Riessa and Synna nodded, but Linn continued anyways, "He said, 'Hello my Linny Bee' and bumped his shoulder against mine! While smirking! Stupid son of a… who does that? And don't even start with your 'Oh Linn, you're over-reacting' crap! I am not over-reacting! He knows I bloody hate being called by that foul nickname! And yet he keeps on doing it. And you know why? Because he likes pissing me off, because he's an asshole…"

Riessa and Synna exchanged a look. Yes, Linn was indeed over-reacting. And secretly they both knew that she knew she was.

"And he was smirking, which just tops it the fuck off!" Linn hissed, "I loathe James Potter." And with that announced, she sat down at her desk and flipped open her Potions book.

* * *

><p>"Class please turn your books to page 317 please," Professor Jansy was the newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. He was a young wizard around thirty with platinum blonde hair and a lanky build. He had taken up the post the year before and had quickly become a favorite of the students. Many of the students described him as the perfect mix of Professor McGongall and Professor Slughorn.<p>

He turned his back to begin writing on the board only to hear a female voice hiss, "Potter I'm going to bloody kill you."He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, another year of the love affair/feud that was Linnys Hyatt and James Potter. As entertaining as it was to watch the two fall in love, he really could do without the constant classroom disruptions and the occasional physical violence.

"One of the most commonly used defensive… Potter please leave Ms. Hyatt's hair alone before she hexes you. I don't want to send you up to the hospital wing in a matchbox this early in the year. And Ms. Hyatt stop trying to elbow Potter's face, I don't want to clean up blood. Now as I was saying…"

Linn turned her head around and glared at the boy behind her, "Dead serious you prat, touch my hair again and a matchbox will be too big."

"Aww now Linny Bee don't be like that," James smirked and ran his fingers through his hair as Linn rolled her eyes and turned around, her face red with anger as she muttered something about knives, muffins and blood.

Next to Linn, Synna sat scribbling on a piece of parchment. She slid it over to Linn.

_Have fun chatting with lover boy?_

**He is not my "lover boy." **

_Well then what shall I refer to him as? Your sugar muffin? Linn's babycakes? How about Sir tight ass? _

**How about none of the above. And Sir tight ass? Really Syn? You're losing your touch. Sir pain in the ass is more fitting… **

_Oh come on Linn, the boy is fit. Especially since this summer… _

**Stop making our lives sound like a cliché romance novel you dolt. And the day I find Potter attractive is the day hell freezes over. **

_Sure Linny. What about your confession that he has such pretty amber colored eyes? Hmmm? _

**I have never called his eyes pretty and I never will Jistienne Synna Tarett! And just because I know what color eyes he has doesn't mean I'm 'madly in love with him' or whatever you're about to begin going on and on about. **

_Your children will be beautiful. Just look at that bone structure. Delicious. _

**I think I might throw up. **

_Hmmm, now let's see. For your wedding we should have soft pink and beige as the colors… _

**Synna! What have I told you about planning my wedding to the prat? DON'T DO IT. And I hate pink. **

"Miss Hyatt please stop planning your murder of Mr. Potter and pay attention," Professor Jansy called as he began drawing a diagram on the board.

"Yes Sir," Linn said quietly, glaring at the desk. She chanced a look at Synna, who made kissy faces at her. "Oh very mature Syn," June whispered as she began copying the diagram. "Congrats, you've finally reached the mental age of a six year old."

"I do try," Synna smiled brightly as she too began to draw the diagram.

_Bounce. Bounce._ Linn narrowed her eyes into slits. Bloody jerk. Grinding her teeth, she pressed her quill harder to the parchment as the tiny balls of paper bounced off the back of her head.

"Grinding you teeth is a sign of sexual frustration," Synna whispered to June without looking at her.

"I am not sexually frustrated Jistienne." Synna frowned and pouted at the use of her first name._ Bounce. Bounce._ The balls of paper continued to bounce off the back of Linn's head. "Syn, if I kill him, come visit me in Azkaban?" Linn whispered.

"Now Linny…" Synna began as Linn turned around in her seat, "Remember what your anger management therapist said. Take deep breathes…"

"What do you want Potter?" Linn hissed quietly. Her blueish-grey eyes narrowed into slits and her face slowly turning red.

"Count to ten Linn… 1, 2, 3…" Synna said quickly as she looked at the pair. James was currently smirking at Linn, his arms crossed. Linn had her arms crossed as well, however her face was livid.

"Nothing Linny Bee," James said silkily, his smirk widening. Synna sighed, no good could come of this. She noted that Professor Jansy had stopped the lecture (again) and was pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"Nothing?" Linn shouted at James who just shrugged. Linn's eyes narrowed even more.

They really were quite the pair, Synna mused. James was dark and Linn was light. James was lovable, charming, and lighthearted as Linn was cynical, sarcastic, and stubborn. Opposites apparently really did attract, Synna laughed to herself.

"Yes darling, Nothing."

"Why you pompous…"

"Hyatt…" Professor Jansy sighed as Linn drew her wand.

"…arrogant…"

"Ms. Hyatt…"

"…conceited little pig!" Linn flicked her wand and a flash of bright, white light hit James in the chest. The class held their breath as the flash dissipated. Beside the desk was a big, fat, pink pig. It snorted.

"Detention Miss Hyatt," Professor Jansy sighed as Linn sat back down.

"Yes Sir." James snorted again.

"Oh shut up Potter," Linn hissed at the pig. Said pig narrowed its eyes and let out another loud snort.

"Miss Hyatt, please change Mr. Potter back to his human form. Everyone else you are dismissed. Practice the spell on your own and read Chapter Two for homework." Linn glared at the pig as everyone else in the room began gathering their things.

The pig/James croaked. "Oh fine, you're such a drama queen Potter," Linn flicked her wand and a few seconds later a quite disheveled James Potter was crouched on the ground. He hopped up and stretched his arms.

Linn rolled her eyes, "Happy?"

James grinned at her, "Very."

His smile sent a wave of chills up Linn's spine as butterflies erupted in her stomach. She bit her lip and shook her head as she began to gather up her things.

* * *

><p>"You turned him into a pig?" Riessa sighed disapprovingly as the girls climbed into their beds that night. As it was her ambition to become a healer, she had dropped DADA in exchange for an extra potions class that concentrated on medicinal concoctions.<p>

"In her defense, it was a pretty outstanding bit of spellwork," their fellow roommate Ryan Dannis called from the bathroom.

"Thank you!" Linn called back smiling cheekily, it had been quite an impressive spell.

"I don't care if it rivaled the headmistress' transfiguration capabilities! Linn you cannot just go around hexing James because he's pissed you off!" Snuggled under her covers, Linn rolled her eyes. Silly Riessa, of course she could curse Potter whenever she liked, what else would she do when she was angry. "Didn't those anger management courses this summer help at all?" Riessa collapsed on her own bed.

"Nope!" Linn said merrily.

"Excellent."

Linn laughed to herself as she closed her eyes. Slowly but surely she began to drift off into dream land. Chills crawled up her spine again as the image of a certain disheveled prat entered her dream.


	5. A Real Fight

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the plot, idea, and anything else you don't recognize. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and everything you _do _recognize.

* * *

><p>Linn sat hunched over the desk her head resting against the leather bound book on top of the wooden surface. Her long brown hair was draped across everything within a two foot radius of her head and a small puddle of drool was accumulating next to her mouth. The poor girl had been up late the night before in a mad struggle to finish her homework. After pulling an all nighter she had somehow managed to stay awake through all of Friday's classes and at least appear to have a certain level of coherency about her. All she had wanted all day long was to, after class, curl up in her bed and sleep until the world ended. However, a certain encounter with a certain Potter boy had resulted in a certain level of teasing and squealing and prodding from certain friends, and thus made her flee to the quiet sanctuary that the library was on a Friday evening. In the deserted depths she had not only found solace, but immediately passed out on top of the desk.<p>

It was like this that Synna found her. After Linn had flown out of the dormitory in a red-faced rage Synna and Riessa had decided it would be best to just let her be and take her anger out on some poor unsuspecting first year/painting/Slytherin rather than themselves. But as the clock struck eight and Friday's curfew began to tick closer they had begun to worry and thus set off to find their hot-tempered friend.

Truth be told, both Riessa and Synna had been afraid Linn had taken her anger out on James and Synna had been relieved to find a living and breathing James outside the library instead of his corpse. Living and Breathing James had informed her that Linn was in the back, "passed the fuck out."

Synna sighed as she crept towards Linn. She stuck out her hand and brushed Linn's hair off of her face, "Wake up sleepy!" she yelled ruffling her hair. Linn moaned and grumbled as she slowly sat up straight in her seat and glared at Synna.

"Fuck off," she hissed as she laid her head back down on her arms and shut her eyes. Synna sighed and sat down on the desk next to Linn's head. She swayed her short legs back and forth, never touching the stone floor, "Linny, it's nearly curfew, you gotta come back to the tower."

Linn pointed her middle finger in Synna's direction, her eyes still closed. Synna rolled her eyes, Linn used the gesture so much it had lost all meaning.

"Linn, Potter just walked out of here. Do you really want to stay and see what pranks he's rigged for you once it's past curfew?"

Linn groaned as she sat up and began shoving books in her bag. Synna hopped off the desk and began humming to herself as Linn finished gathering her things, all the while muttering profanities under her breath.

Linn and Synna walked back to the Ravenclaw dorms silently; well, Synna stayed silent, Linn just walked like a zombie. The girls climbed up the steps to their dormitory. Linn pushed the door open.

"Ah so you finally found Mrs. Potter!"

"Fuck off Litten." Linn chucked her bag onto the ground and climbed under the covers of her bed. Riessa shook her head, and muttered denial.

All four of Linn's fellow roommates jumped as she suddenly shot up out of bed and yanked her hangings closed. Synna took two steps towards Linn's bed.

"If any of you lot bother me for the rest of the night you will wake up sporting green boils and tentacles for arms!"

They didn't bother Linn for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>Inside the sanctuary of the hangings Linn had buried her face into her pillow and was using all her strength to will herself not to cry. Today had not been a good day. She was tired and her emotional state was feeling the effects of being up for over 24 hours.<p>

James and Linn fought all the time. Teachers had come to ignore it. Their friends had become accustomed to tuning it out. Why, Linn and James themselves were used to the constant bickering. But today had been different; Linn didn't know why, but today the two had had a 'real fight.'

Not a "You smell" "Well you're an asshole" fight, but a _realfight._

Linn hugged the pillow tighter. James had called her a brat before. He had called her a bitch. He had called her a suck up and a teacher's pet. He called her a dumb blonde daily. But he had never, ever said the things he had said to her today. He had never spoken to her with such anger and venom in his voice. He had never called her anything as bad as a 'good for nothing whore with shit for brains.'

Linn knew she had antagonized him, she knew it was partially her fault. But she had been tired and he had been picking on her and she had vented her anger and frustration on him.

His words weren't even the worst part. Oh no, the look on his face after he had realized what he said was the worst. Linn didn't think she would ever get that mental snapshot out of her head.

He had been horrified. In fact, he had even thrown his hand over his mouth. His hazel eyes had gotten huge as realization set in. And the way he had said her name after it; so softly, so quietly. Thank god for the bell.

Linn had sprinted out of Charms (the only class she and James shared without Synna or Riessa) to D.A.D.A. When she had arrived she had squished herself in between her two best friends and ignored James the entire class as he tried (and failed) to gain her attention.

Oh yes, James had tried to gain her attention. He had tried everything from poking her in the back with his quill to yanking on her ponytail, but instead, Linn had ignored him. Synna and Riessa had inferred from this that something had happened between the two, hence the later teasing. Thank god it was the weekend and she didn't have to see the boy for two whole days (Linn was a pro at James Potter avoidance.)

* * *

><p>As Linn lay in bed and contemplated the day her stomach emitted a rather loud growl, reminding her she had slept through dinner. She sighed and rolled over to check the clock on her bedside table. It was 2 a.m.<p>

As she had done time and time before (after long hours of what were usually filled with contemplating the death of one James Potter), Linn silently crawled out of bed and slipped her feet into her fluffy blue slippers. She left her dressing gown hanging on her bed post as she was still dressed in her school skirt and white shirt.

Magically, she avoided the creepy old caretaker, Filch, and maneuvered her way through the empty and silent halls to the kitchen entrance. She tickled the pear and closed the painting with a soft click behind her. After a few moments of thanking the house elves she walked over to the old rickety wooden table in the corner, toast and jam in hand. She sat down in one of the chairs and began to unscrew the top off of the jar of strawberry jam. She smothered a piece of the toast with the goopy sugary sauce and took a bite.

Linn was stuffing the last bit of the toast into her mouth as the door to the kitchens clicked open. She froze, heart racing, as she stared wide-eyed into the darkness of the kitchen entrance. She slowly began licking the jam off of her fingers, silently praying a teacher wouldn't appear.

Fuck was the only word that came to mind as a rather disheveled James Potter stepped into the kitchen. James rubbed his eyes as house elves swarmed to him crying "Mister James!" His brown hair was sticking up in random spots all over his head and all he wore was a loose white tank top and a pair of maroon pajama bottoms.

Linn began to silently stand up hoping to avoid any sort of confrontation with James. As James was pulled further into the kitchen by the over eager house elves Linn silently crept in the shadows towards the exit. She was nearly to the portrait when…

"Linn."

He said it so breathlessly, softly. She hated the way he said her name.

"Linn."

Linn could hear his footsteps as he slowly walked towards her. She scrambled towards the portrait; the kitchen was too hot, too stuffy. She couldn't do this, she couldn't…

"Linn."

Bloody hell… She couldn't ignore him. Linn bit her lip and looked at James as he shut the kitchen portrait.

"Linn," James said slowly as he walked over towards her. "I… I'm sorry," he said looking at the ground, "I shouldn't of said that earlier."

"It's fine," Linn heard herself reply.

James looked up at her, Linn looked at the floor, "No it's not, I really should not of said that. I really am sorry," he finished.

Linn didn't reply to this. She couldn't think of what to say. She turned to go until...

James stopped her by grabbing her arm, "Linny Bee…"

Linn turned to face him, "James it's fine. I forgive you. Go to bed." She couldn't handle this. She needed to get out of here now.

James didn't remove his hand, he looked her dead in the eye, "I'm sorry."

"Potter, It's fine. Now get your arm off me before some first year comes wandering the corridor and sees us," Linn slapped his hand away. The two stared at one another silently for a few seconds, but that was enough for Linn. Her throat tightened and before she could stop them tears started to slide down her face slowly. She closed her eyes and turned away, but James turned her around and brought her into a hug.

Linn looked up at him with a tear stained face,her blue-grey eyes sparkling. "I'm really sorry," he said.

"I know," she whispered to him.

Then their lips collided and everything faded except each other. To both there was an electric shock bursting from the other. The kiss deepened until they were desperate for air. They broke apart and James smiled.

"Sweet dreams Linny," He said as he walked past her down the hallway.

Linn watched him walk down the hall, slightly dazed. "Why me?"


	6. When The Shit Hits The Fan

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything but the plot, idea, and anything else you don't recognize. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and everything you _do _recognize.

Sorry I've taken so long this chapter is long and it was kinda complicated when I was writing it.

* * *

><p>Fall came and went that year far too quickly for my liking. As much as I wanted to get out of the castle and start whatever awaited me, I was still just a naive seventeen year old schoolgirl with a temper and I knew it. I clung to the last threads of my childhood tightly as the temperature dropped and snow began to fall on the grounds. Snowfall began quite early that year, usually we expected the fluffy white stuff to begin falling mid-December; however, by mid November the grounds were covered. According to the Daily Prophet it was because we were having record low temperatures for that time of year.<p>

As the temperature got colder, James and I got hotter. We were more explosive than we had ever been both figuratively and literally. Sparks flew from my wand at the mere mention of his name. The boy was annoying me to no end; and it wasn't just because of the hair-pulling, quill poking, and teasing. After the day of our 'fight' something changed between us. James had always been able to get under my skin, but with that fight he had been able to twist his way into my very soul; it sounds dramatic, but it was true. I don't know how else to explain it. He was poison in my bloodstream.

I tried to keep it to myself, but I know Riessa and Synna noticed. Synna was more vocal about it. She had no problem conveying her ideas and thoughts about me and James. Synna's innuendos and theories did nothing to help my short temper when it came to James.

That earned me three night's detention and a Howler from my mother who begged me to think before I attacked and informed me that unless I stopped abusing James I would be locked in my room during the upcoming holiday.Halfway through November about a week after the first snowfall, James decided to antagonize me and charm snowballs to randomly hit me as we walked to the greenhouses for Herbology. After the first three, James found himself transfigured into a large, fat black cat in front of Hagrid's, the groundskeeper, dog Fang who (as old and blind as he was) chased him halfway across the iced over lake and around the castle before anyone could figure out how to change him back.

* * *

><p>And so November turned into December. Only a few minor incidents marked the passage of time, such as James spilling ink down my shirt and me hexing him so his hair fell out. Which, in turn, only served to piss me off seeing as the bloody prat was still attractive bald.<p>

As the snow fell and the days passed it seemed that I would make it to the Christmas holiday without either brutally maiming or killing James. Riessa was rather amused and had taken to claiming that I was avoiding him, which was ridiculous. Synna was convinced that this meant we would soon, and I quote, "make hot, sexy, passionate love in the boys' dorm." I took it as a sign that I might actually get through the year without doing something that would send me to Azkaban without a trial.

I crossed the days off on the calendar beside my bed. Praising everything even slightly holy when there was but a week left till break and I had not slowly roasted James on a spit over a fire.

Then he told me he loved me.

* * *

><p>Christmas cheer was floating through the castle as the students of Hogwarts made their way to and from class. There was but a week until Christmas holiday and Hagrid had begun to decorate the castle festively. Impressively decorated evergreens stood in every corner of the castle. The halls were decked with holly and sparkling ornaments. The sky of the Great Hall was perpetually snowing, and the banisters were wrapped with bright red ribbons. Even the suits of armor were polished and dressed in their holiday best.<p>

"It's so fucking cold," Linn moaned as she and Riessa made their way through the throng of students and towards History of Magic. Both Linn and Riessa had their thick black robes wrapped tightly around their bodies, "I mean we're magic. One would think that after 100 million years they would of thought to put a heating charm on the place!"

"Hogwarts isn't 100 million years old," Riessa stuttered as she swung open the thick oak door to the classroom. They both slid into seats next to Synna. Linn tossed her bag on the desk and shrugged towards the fire, "Why isn't it any warmer in here?"

"Because Binns is a ghost and has forgotten that living human beings need warmth to survive," Riessa stated as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms.

Synna smirked, "I know someone who would gladly warm you up Linny," she said in a sing song voice. Synna nodded her head in the direction of the door as James and his cousin Fred waltzed into the classroom. Linn groaned and slammed her head against the desk as they made their way over to the girls and took seats directly behind them.

Synna snickered; Linn banged her head against the desktop again.

"Keep that up Linny bee and you won't have any brain cells left," James teased as he leaned over the desk and ruffled Linn's hair.

Linn turned and glared at James, "How many fucking times have I told you Potter, do not touch my hair!"

"At least once more love?" James teased as Binns began to lecture.

"Merlin you're annoying."

"I like to think that it's part of my boyish charm…"

"Charm? Where? The only thing I see that is slightly charming is the magic that was clearly used to turn a baboon into a school boy. Too bad they forgot to fix your brain before they gave you a wand and clothes," Linn sighed sarcastically.

"If the clothes are bothering you that much love they can be quickly gotten rid of," James smirked and leaned back in his chair.

Linn shot him the bird over her shoulder as she gagged and resumed to her original position of head against desk. Potter was a prat, an absolute prat, she mentally concluded, damn the butterflies.

Synna began humming to herself as she scribbled a note to Linn.

**_I'm all for getting rid of the clothes. Please inform James that he is authorized to begin stripping whenever ready._**

Linn looked over at Synna horrified as she read the note.

**You've clearly jumped off the deep end Syn. No more sneaking Firewhisky at the pub next time we're in Hogsmede.**

**_Linnyyyyyyy!_**

**Synnnnnnn!**

**_Linn__ this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. The gorgeousness that is James Sirius Potter has just offered to strip for you. Darling, think of the rest of us lowly schoolgirls who will never get the chance to see…_**

Linn snatched the note from Synna before she could begin describing exactly what she thought they might see.

**Jistienne! Cease and Desist! There will be no more discussing any aspect James bloody Potter, physical appearance or otherwise.**

**_Spoil sport._**

**Don't get your knickers in a twist. Besides Synna, it's only Potter.**

**_Exactly! I swear Linn, you need to come stalk the Quidditch Pitch during September and June more often…_**

**Please tell me you do not actually stalk my arch nemesis.**

**_Of course not, Linny and I occasionally go out there to 'study' or 'watch Mel practice.' Honestly Linn, I would never stoop as low as to stalk a boy…_**

**I think I may be sick.**

**_Just don't get it on me, these are new shoes._**

Linn groaned as she shoved the parchment back to Synna, who frowned at Linn's lack of response.

Behind them James Potter had been watching their exchange with quite a bit of interest. He had been unsuccessful in his attempts to figure out what the girls had been discussing and it was bothering him. History of Magic was boring. James frowned as he leaned back in his chair, bored as hell. He began to smirk as he noticed Linn had resumed softly banging her head against her desk. He leaned forward and got as close as he possibly could to Linn.

"What'd I tell you about killing those precious brain cells of yours?" James teased. Linn snapped her head up, the back of it hitting James' jaw. Linn rubbed the back of her head as James rubbed his chin.

"And what did I tell you about talking to me?" Linn retorted in a sickeningly sweet voice. Synna turned her chair so she could have a better view of the pair and pulled a chocolate frog out of her bag. She nudged Riessa, "Prepare for the show."

"Oh please Linn, you're life would be completely pointless without me in it," James laughed. Synna bit off one of her frog's legs and rolled her eyes, James officially needed to learn to think before he spoke.

"Pointless? On the contrary Potter, my life would have more meaning without you in it!"

"No you would be bored without me."

"No I would be much happier and probably have fewer homicidal tendencies!"

James rolled his eyes, "Please Hyatt, just admit it, the past few years would have been boring without me."

"Boring?" Linn asked incredulously. "You Potter have made the last few years of my schooling pure hell!"

"Awww, come on Linn you know I only do it cause I love you," James said with a cheeky grin.

Riessa swirled her head around so fast it cracked. Synna dropped her chocolate frog and stared open-mouthed at James.

Linn visibly gagged, "Never say that again."

James grinned wider, "I love you. I love you. I love you," he said making up a sing song chant as he went along.

"Potter shut up!" Linn yell throwing her hands over her ears.

"I love you."

By this point Linn was rocking back and forth in fetal position, Riessa was shaking her head, and Synna was still staring in shock.

"I love you."

As if by divine intervention, the class bell rang. Linn gathered her things and sprinted out the door as quickly as she could.

"I love you!" James called out as she skidded through the door and threw him the bird over her shoulder.

James turned and began to pick up his things. Fred raised an eyebrow at him, "So you love her?" James scowled and smacked his cousin upside the head.

* * *

><p>"He didn't mean it, he was only saying it to annoy me," Linn hissed as she paced around the dormitory, chocolate bar in hand. Synna nodded in agreement as she lounged on her respective bed, potions book in lap. Riessa had retreated to the library in an attempt to escape Linn's slightly mental breakdown. Synna on the other hand found the situation entirely entertaining, hence her remaining in the bed to watch the 'show' that was one frazzled Linn Hyatt. Even if she had seen it countless times before.<p>

"He didn't bloody mean it. He does shit like this all the time," Linn ran her fingers through her hair, "Not that I'd ever want him to say that seriously to me. Now that would be mad. No, I hate James Potter. He's a bloody git."

"Of course," Synna sighed in agreement as Linn turned on her heel and began to walk the other way again.

"He was just doing it to annoy me. I mean let's face it Syn, the idea of that arrogant prat loving me is insane."

"Completely mental," Synna replied sarcastically as she turned a page in her book.

"Right, Completely mad. He was just doing it because he knew it would piss me off. Which it did. Completely and utterly pissed me off," Linn turned back the other way and took a large bite of chocolate.

"Of course, no other motivation what-so-ever."

"Right, he didn't mean it at all. Not one bit. Not a single bit," Linn sat down on her bed and flopped onto her back (her half eaten chocolate bar tumbled onto the floor), "I hate James Potter."

"I noticed."

"Loathe him completely."

Synna shut her book, "Cheer up Linny, we have Transfiguration in fifteen minutes."

Linn moaned, "Why is that supposed to make me feel any better? Potter will be there."

"Yes well then you can bruise his ego by out shining him with your transfiguration capabilities."

"I do enjoy making him look stupid," Linn sighed grabbing her book bag.

Synna held open the door for her, "Oh believe me Linny, we know…"

* * *

><p>I did indeed make it through the last few days at Hogwarts before Christmas Break without murdering my arch nemesis. Although I would admit it to no one, James declaring his 'love' for me had shaken me to my very core. Sure 99.9% of the Hogwarts population was probably privy to the incident, but on the outside, to even Synna and Riessa, it appeared as though all the incident had served to do was make me employ a new tactic, one I hadn't used since fifth year- Ignoring James.<p>

I had no desire to see him, to talk to him, to have anything to do with him. Sure I ranted about him to Riessa and Synna, but to everyone besides those closest to me, it seemed as though I was completely and utterly indifferent. He spent the last few days before break attempting to talk to me, to get a rise out of me; he even went as far as turning me maroon and gold in an attempt to piss me off.

I couldn't look at him, couldn't speak to him. As much as I chanted to myself that the words had been a lie, that he was joking- I couldn't get myself to entirely believe it. And that terrified me. I didn't do love. I was Linnys Hyatt. Fairytales were bullshit and Prince Charming was not, under any circumstances, real. Love was not for me. I didn't believe in it; which drove Riessa insane. I can't recall how many times I have been subjected to her lecturing me on my lack of reasons to be such a cynical bitch. She claims there is no conceivable reason for me to act the way I do.

Which, in my heart of hearts, I knew to be true. I had no reason to be so afraid of love; but I was. The idea that one person could hold so much sway and power over me without my consent terrified me to my very core. I wasn't much attuned to the idea that for absolutely no reason I could care about someone more than I cared about myself. To me, love was a frightening concept; and the idea that James could love me and I could love him? Well, in my mind, there wasn't a word in the English language that could describe how much that scared me.

When I arrived back home sweet home I plastered a smile on my face and remained the whiny, bitchy, cynical child I was. If my mother noticed the slightest change in my demeanor I wasn't aware of it until the day she announced I was being dragged to the ball.

It seems idiotic and ridiculous that in the post-war wizarding world there would be such a thing as a social hierarchy. I mean I know I tend to use History of Magic as nap time, but isn't that part of what our ancestors fought against? Alas, despite the seemingly contradictory nature of it there is a written-in-stone hierarchy ever present in our blessed society today. Unlike the pre-war period it is not based on blood and birth, but upon wealth and influence; which is, of course, so much better.

My father happens to be a retired chaser for the Falmouth Falcons and is presently the offensive coach for the Tushill Tornadoes. This apparently makes him 'influential.' Add in the fact that my mother comes from a very old, very influential, very wealthy Wizarding family and you have the reason why (to my chagrin) our dear family is invited to attend many a social function.

Since my parents deemed it appropriate for me to be exposed to such culture, I have been dragged against my will to said functions. Although I will admit the odd one is for a good cause; nine times out of ten it is to celebrate the 'peace' and to honor those who 'sacrificed their lives'; aka an excuse for everyone to get drunk, dance, gorge themselves, and scar future generations with stories about 'back in the day.'

But back to my original point, when I arrived home I don't believe my mother was aware of my present state of mental conflict and horror until she announced that we would be attending the Minister's Annual Christmas Ball. Usually I instantly moan and groan and complain (in very colorful language) about having to see the Spawn of Satan (aka James.) This time however, when she flounced into the kitchen carrying the thick crème envelope covered in gold leaf I froze, my spoonful of cereal halfway to my mouth. After arguing with my father over whether or not he would be wearing a suit, my darling mother turned to me and (eyebrow raised) inquired as to why I hadn't let some sort of snide remark pop out yet.

I believe I mumbled something about the horror of said event incapacitating the entirety of my brain function; but in actuality, I was in shock. I had been looking forward to three weeks of time completely and utterly free of James Potter. I had completely forgotten about the ball.

The ball. Merlin damn that ball. Why? Because it was at the ball that I really, truly realized what I had been attempting to ignore since the delicate age of fifteen. At that Merlin- forsaken ball I realized that I was in love with James Potter. And that's when the shit hit the fan.

* * *

><p>"Lynnis! Don't slouch your shoulders! You look like a caveman!"<p>

"Yes mother," Linn replied in a dead, monotone voice as she stomped her way into the ballroom, her younger sister, Taryn, trailing behind her. Her mother had somehow managed to find the most indecent dress (in Linn's current opinion) on the face of the planet to clothe her in; needless to say, June was not a happy camper. Not only was she in heels, but she was quite certain that if she moved a little too quickly she would flash everyone in the vicinity. Her dress was a deep purple with silver stitching.

"Oh stop acting like Mum killed your pygmy puff," Taryn rolled her eyes as Linn plopped down at the nearest table and commenced scowling at the nearest velvet curtain. Taryn raised an eyebrow, "You're not going to come dance with me if I ask are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine then I'm off to find someone who appreciates my talents," Taryn sighed, leaving her big sister all alone.

"Oi! Brat! No boys!" Linn called after her as she took a quiche off the tray one of the servers was offering to her, she stuffed it into her mouth moodily.

"Lynnis Francine Hyatt," Linn's mother swatted her daughter's arm as she walked up behind her, "Young lady you are at a social function, stop looking like you've been shipped to Azkaban for life."

"But Mum…" Linn whined crossing her arms.

"Don't you dare but Mum me! Now you listen here, when I was your age my mother was planning my marriage to someone five times my age. Stop acting like I'm Voldemort for dragging you here and go have fun."

"But Mum that goes against my moral code!"

"Don't make me ground you Lynnis Francine!" she threatened, narrowing her eyes at her daughter, "Now go drag your brother away from the crème tarts and dance with him."

"You're really going to make me go dance with boy wonder?"

"You are nearly eighteen years old, don't make me count to three…"

"Really?"

"One… Two…"

"Alright!" Linn held her hands up in surrender as she stood up and brushed the quiche crumbs off her dress, "I'll go find darling, wittle Frederick Ander and waltz with him…"

"That's my girl," Linn's mother beamed at her and patted her cheek as Linn stormed over to the desert table.

"Oi! Midget!" Linn swatted the back of the head of a young, blonde boy a few inches shorter than her.

"Merlin Linn, did you have to hit me?" he whined rubbing the spot she had hit.

"Yes, yes I did," Linn smiled sweetly, "Now come on, Mother dearest wants us to dance."

Ander pulled a face similar to the one Linn had made earlier, but still lumbered after her as she made her way through the throng of guests to the dance floor. They began to dance, and soon ran into Taryn who was giggling and 'waltzing' around the floor with her best friend and Synna's younger sister, Mally.

"Oh look who decided to get up off her ass!" Taryn cried as she and Mally began to dance circles around her siblings, both of which were glaring at her.

"Oh yes it's such a miracle," Linn deadpanned, "Now where is darling Jistienne?"

"Synnie said something about having to see a man about a goat…" Mally trailed off.

"Bint, she's probably already escaped. Best friend? Bullshit."

"Naw, she's probably just hiding in the restroom. I'm supposed to tell you, and I quote, 'Guess who looks fine! Rawr!'"

"Lovely, it's a good thing I don't practice the fine art of killing the messenger. Now if you lot will excuse me I have a bint to go beat with a crowbar," Linn curtsied and stormed off in the direction of the hall.

"What's a crowbar?"

God bless Frederick Ander Hyatt.

* * *

><p>"Jistienne Synna Tarett come out from the damn stall immediately so I can beat you instead of the door!" Linn yelled as she pounded her fist on the carved wood. She was standing in the middle of a lavish power room (complete with naked cherubs carved into the crown molding.)<p>

"No!" was the muffled reply that came from behind the wood, "Not until you calm down."

"Synna," Linn whined.

"Linn," Synna whined right back in the same tone, "I will not come out until you calm down."

Linn huffed and stomped over to the plush velvet stool situated in front of the marble vanity across the room. She sat down, "Fine, I'm calm."

The lock clicked and Synna, clad in a sea foam green dress popped out from behind the door, "Holy shit!" She gaped at Linn, her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Yes Einstein, I look like a whore. Kindly return your face to its usual hideous state."

"Linn," Synna breathed as she walked towards her friend, "You look stunning…"

Synna was in shock. She had never seen Linn look so amazing. Her hair was curled and pinned up perfectly, and her makeup was flawless. And then there was the dress. It was a deep purple, form fitting dress that hugged Linn's curves perfectly. It stopped a little above her mid-thigh. Synna bit her lip, 'How on earth had Mrs. Hyatt gotten Linn into the getup?' Synna was about to inquire when Linn opened her mouth.

"Syn," Linn rolled her eyes, "Go get your eyes checked."

"Girl, have you looked in the mirror?" Synna asked as she came to a stop in front of Linn, "You look like gorgeous."

Linn sighed, "Syn, what did I tell you about drinking before you come to these functions?"

"Lynnis Francine! I am not drunk, you look pretty. Now that is the last time I am going to say it, so kindly stop pouting."

"Whatever tickles your fancy."

"You are impossible," Synna sighed.

"And you're the one who is constantly attempting to turn my life into a cliché romance novel."

"I'm going pretend I didn't hear you say that, now shall we return to the fray and wreak havoc upon the poor unsuspecting public?"

"But I only just escaped!" Linn cried, "You've been hiding out in here for Merlin knows how long!"

"Only until you arrived! Lander Wood was following me boasting about his collection of brooms!"

"Can't we just stay in here and live off potpourri and hand soap?"

"No darling, there's cookies out there."

"Some best friend you are…"

"Love you as well, Now come on, let's go annoy James," Synna said bouncing to the door.

"Must we?"

"Hold the phone!" Synna was back next to Linn in a flash, "You, Linnys Francine Hyatt, don't want to go piss off James Potter? _The_ James Potter? The boy you've been attempting to murder since age fourteen? Are we in a parallel universe?" Synna placed her hand over Linn's forehead.

"Bite me," Linn hissed crossing her arms as she ducked away from Synna's palm.

"Linn…"

"I'm ignoring him still!" Linn insisted, her voice reaching a rather high octave.

* * *

><p>After much begging and the promise of chocolate chip cookies, Linn and Synna returned to the ballroom, where the sat down in their usual seats in the back corner and proceeded to mock the Wizarding elite, as was their custom.<p>

Well it had begun as mocking; after a few minutes of good naturedly laughing about Luna Lovegood's choice of erm, _dress _their conversation had evolved into a little game Synna liked to call Get-June-To-Admit-Potter-Is-Fine-While-Annoying-Her-At-The-Same-Time.

"Woman you are not human!" Synna exclaimed tipping the last bits of her drink down her throat, "Are we looking at the same male?"

"Clearly we are not," Linn sighed; another ball, another hour of Synna trying to convince her James Potter was god's gift to mankind.

"Linn," Synna grabbed Linn's face between her two hands, "Do me a favor and actually look at the boy. No, no glaring. Actually look at him," Synna moved her gaze from Linn's face to James, who was quite a ways away, leaning against one of the doorways and chatting with a waif-like girl in a lime green chiffon dress.

"You act like I've never seen him before," Linn mumbled through Synna's vice like grip upon her face.

"That's because you clearly haven't!" Synna's eyes were back on Linn as she squished her friend's cheeks even more.

Linn groaned, "If I promise to look will you remove your hands from my face?"

Synna frowned, "Pinky promise?"

"Yes," Linn sighed "If he catches me looking I will murder you."

Synna nodded absent mindedly as she dug her hand in the bowl of Bertie Bott's she and Linn had confiscated 'for the greater good.'

Linn rolled her eyes and leaned up against her hand as she let her gaze trail over to James. Of course she knew he was good looking, she wasn't stupid. But it was just something she would never admit aloud, no matter how many chocolate chip cookies Synna promised her (or in Riessa's case, essays written.) It was hard enough admitting it to herself let alone the general public!

Synna tossed a few beans in her mouth, "You pinky promised!" she said in a sing-song voice.

"I'm looking Mum," Linn replied back. Bloody bint. Best friends? Pshaw, who needed them anyways. All they did was taunt you and annoy you and refuse to live in bathrooms off potpourri with you.

"The tablecloth does not qualify as any part of James Potter's person!"

Linn sighed and raised her eyes back up. Yes, he looked amazing this evening as per usual. Fabulous. He had apparently already discarded his jacket, as he was only clad in a pair of black slacks and a crisp, white shirt. At the moment he was fingering the dark red, skinny tie around his neck as he leaned against the door frame that Linn knew lead away to the hall she and Synna had just come from. There was a smile on his tanned face, however his hazel eyes held a painfully bored expression. As per usual his hair looked like it had been hit by lightning.

"I mean Merlin Linny, you need to come stalk Quidditch practice in the Spring. Once you know what's hiding under those clothes you'll realize, as I have, that clothes are a useless entity; and the shirt and pair of pants he has on would look much better on…"

Linn mimed gagging, "You're going to make me vomit."

"Oh grow up…"

"No."

"Come on Linn just admit it, Potter's fine with a capital F," Synna begged.

Linn sighed and let her eyes wash over James's figure again; however, this time as she turned her gaze from Synna to James she found him absentmindedly staring back at her. Linn's eyes narrowed into slits; James on the other hand just smirked and leaned closer to the girl in front of him. Linn's eyes narrowed even more as James laughed rather loudly at what said girl had just said.

"Potter looks like a toad," Linn spat as she dug her hand into the bowl of Bertie Bott's, "An ugly, green, slimy, warty…"

"Best not let Jamesie hear you saying that," Fred Weasley winked as he slid up behind the two girls. Synna laughed as Linn turned to glare at James' best friend and cousin.

"Eh, she's said worse to his face," Synna shrugged as Fred helped himself to some beans.

"Very true, my personal favorite is from back in fifth year when she told him his face looked like a stampede of hippogriffs had run over it and then circled back and shit on it."

"Oh that was a good one," Linn said fondly, "May have to resurrect that."

"Excuse her manners Freddie she's a bit pissy this evening," Synna sighed.

"Aww chin up Hyatt, he loves you more than that mousey haired chit he's dancing with," Freddie grinned as Linn mimed gagging, "Besides love, you look stunning this evening."

"Oh I do?" Linn said in a rather unattractive monotone as she shoved more beans into her mouth.

"But of course, James has only been bitching about it for the past hour," Freddie smirked as Linn's cheeks turned fire engine red. She crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't think I've ever felt more violated in my life. Are you quite finished Weasley?"

"Naw, I can continue all night if you like…"

"Don't antagonize her Freddie, it'll only serve to piss her off more. And then you'll wake up with fish heads in your bed," Synnna shook her head as Freddie laughed whole-heartily.

"Fish heads Miss Tarett?"

Synna shrugged, "I just said to myself, think like Linn…"

"Fuck you both," Linn spat.

"Say Synna, wanna ditch this one-man pity party and come dance with me?" Freddie asked as Linn's glare turned venomous.

"Sounds brilliant!" Synna jumped up and patted Linn's head, "Now be a good girl while I'm gone and don't kill anyone with the utensils!"

Linn shot the pair the bird as they flounced away to the dance floor

* * *

><p>Bored out of her mind Linn soon found herself people-watching the couples on the dance floor; especially one couple in particular - James and the mousey-haired girl. At first Linn had pitied the poor bint; imagine, having to spend the evening with James Potter! But as her boredom increased she soon found herself not only glaring at James but at the girl.<p>

Who the hell wore lime green? It was a hideous color, especially when coupled with chiffon and mousey brown hair. Stupid, ugly chit. Her hair was gross. It was all brown and stringy and gross. Linn had concluded that it was a wig and she had lost her hair after an encounter with a thousand rabid pygmy puffs; they had chewed off her hair and then died from eating too much of it because it was poisoned with her ugliness. Yes, said Linn, that was EXACTALY what had happened.

Stupid, wig-haired slut; who did she think she was dancing with James? Not that Linn was jealous. Pshaw, Linn wasn't jealous. Not. One. Bit. Nope. Linn didn't get jealous, especially of shit faced girls that danced with James Potter …

Okay maybe she was slightly jealous, Linn managed to admit to herself as she watched James pull the girl closer. Maybe a teensy tiny bit, but not really. The gurgling in her stomach was from all the Bertie Bott's she had consumed. And the flashes of anger she kept feeling? Oh, those were from the smirks Potter kept sending her way as he danced with the bint. Arse. The arse and the bint, what a lovely couple! Match made in heaven! She was not jealous.

Then it happened. Linn froze as she watched James pull the flushed girl against him. His arms were wrapped tightly around her body, his cheek was pressed against hers, and they're bodies swayed back and forth together to the music. The gurgling that had before been present in Linn's gut roared to life. Then, just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, James looked straight into her eyes and smirked knowingly and evilly. Linn saw red. She wasn't quite sure how it happened, but in a flash she was up out of her seat and storming off to the restroom as fast as her heels could take her. A few moments later Linn arrived back in the lavish powder room she and Synna had vacated earlier, shaking with an emotion she couldn't quite put her finger on. This time she was the one locked behind the dark wooden stall door.

As she clicked the lock into place Linn took a deep, heaving breath. Tears were prickling at the corners of her eyes and she felt like she was on fire. He… she… Linn took another deep breath to calm herself as she rested her forehead against the cold wood. The roaring monster in her guts was gone, but she felt raw all over… betrayed even. How could he?

How could he? Linn stumbled and smacked her hand against the wall. No… he… he… no. He did nothing wrong, she heard her subconscious say, nothing wrong at all. He's not yours; he is perfectly entitled to do whatever he likes with whomever he likes. In a flash Linn felt sick again, no he wasn't! He was James and… and… oh for fuck's sake… He was her James, not that mousy-haired fuck faced bint's!

Linn's eyes flew open as this revelation crossed her mind. She staggered backwards, no. No. No. I don't.

But you do, she thought, you really do. At this thought Linn let out a shuddering gasp and lay her forehead on the wood again. She couldn't. There was no way. James made her cry, he pissed her off, he dyed her hair green for heaven's sake! It was just not possible for her to (Linn gagged) care about him in any way, shape or form, let alone be in love with him…

"Oh Merlin," she whispered nearly inaudibly, "I… oh Merlin…"

Linn's eyes fluttered shut in an attempt to keep from crying. As they closed, memories began to play across her eyelids like a movie. It was horrible, and cliché, and made her feel quite ill. This did not happen to her… she… she just, quite simply, did not do this sort of thing. She did not feel this sort of thing. Ever. Period.

It was just not possible… as if on command the image of James and the girl dancing flashed into her mind, and the monster in her gut roared to life again. Every single inch of her body was on fire. It was then as the mental image faded away and sense began to soak back into her brain that her eyes (finally) flew open in stunning (and horrifying) revelation.

Linn bit her lip and dug her fingernails into her palms. She took a deep breath and slowly lowered herself onto the toilet. After a few silent, tense, seconds she let her head fall forward into her hands and let out one final shuddering breath , "Oh Merlin… I think I love him…"

* * *

><p>And that's when the shit hit the fan.<p> 


End file.
